All Things Go

Some people have done life before…

Or have at least had a free trial period.

I mean, they must have, the way people are out here being judged.

No one is a life expert; I think we forget this sometimes.

There is strength in change; there is beauty in growth.

We don’t even know we do this, but we often give the word “change” a negative connotation. For example, we wish people happy birthday by wishing them to stay the same, or even complimenting people for being constant.

Everything in the world around us is constantly changing and moving. So who are we not to?

The lack of change is unnatural; it’s us fighting the norm. And for what?

I personally never done life before; I wasn’t given a step-by-step study guide for this. We adapt to our different situations and environments. We make mistakes and learn from them. These experiences and lessons we learn and our vision for our future spark this change in us.

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You can outgrow someone. You can outgrow an environment.

This doesn’t mean that you think you are better than someone or better than some place. Simply, you aren’t the same person you were when you entered that friendship, relationship, and environment. This might be hard to hear, but people will outgrow you, outgrow your presence and outgrow the relationship you share. You might not know it there and then, but you’ll think of someone who has outgrown you if you look back hard enough.

Holier than thou Ley makes an appearance once again. Sometimes God will help you outgrow someone or something to prepare you for something bigger.

I’ve changed, I believe I’ve changed for the better, but I might be biased. So I don’t want to focus on my changes specifically but on how people received these changes.

It wasn’t always positive.

Many people refused to accept this new me, which eventually led to me distancing myself from certain people and environments. Let me step away from my main character syndrome for a bit, honestly, some people didn’t even notice or care, lol.

I won’t do apologize for not being the same person I used to be.

The change was needed.

Who I was wasn’t healthy for me; it wasn’t true to me. I wasn’t a fake version of myself or anything; I just didn’t know better at the time. I didn’t know that I wanted better for myself. I was working with what I had, what I knew, and what I was exposed to.

Old friends expected old reactions out of me. In some instances, it even felt like they were upset at me for growing old habits.

You don’t have to accept the new and hopefully improved me, but you have to respect it.

Okay, now I feel like I’m losing you guys. I promise you I’m not Ben 10 or a chameleon or worse, a Kardashian.

I don’t fear change, I’ll keep accepting change until I’m happy with who I am.

I used to let everything and anything affect me in the past. It wasn’t healthy, and it put me in anxious and depressive states at the time. Funny thing is that I thought I was the living representation of the word “unbothered”. I decided to redirect my energy into things that mattered to me and even those things changed; to be honest, they are still changing.

To the outside world, I became nonchalant and full of myself. This same outside world didn’t know that I prioritized myself and my mental health and (to add more dramatics) my future.

I knew I was doing something when people seemed bothered that I was unbothered (and yes, I already used this as an Instagram caption).

One of the most complex parts of this process is having loved ones not respect or acknowledge your growth. I’m not asking for encouragement, just respect.

Respect my growth.

It’s like getting good grades, and someone reminds you of the C’s you used to get two years ago. Like boy bye.

Go through your contacts, your phone contacts.

Excuse the tone; still trying to figure out how to talk to you guys. Maybe I should add the word, please.

Scroll down from A to Z; you will see the names of people you probably even forgot about. This will bring back a lot of memories. Of course, depending on how much damage you’ve done in this world, you might completely forget a few names *inserts upside-down smiley emoji.

A lot of people in your contacts aren’t in your life anymore. Not because you got into an argument or fought with all of them (I hope not, but if you did, I highly recommend therapy) but simply because of change. Changed trajectories, paths, and personalities. You outgrew your relationship, and that’s okay. Whether you partied like besties one summer then went back to school, or you were both talking to boys in the same friend group, and now you aren’t and have nothing to talk about, or you are simply both in two different headspaces at the moment. This is okay. Change is regular and doesn’t make your once had relationships any less genuine or honest. I believe that everyone I’ve ever met has played a role in making me the person I am today, and I’m grateful for them.

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One thing, I promised myself not to do again is take it personally when people distance themselves from me. Most of the time, it’s not about me; it's for them. Once again, we aren’t life experts. And there is no such thing as being at your best 24/7, 365 days a year.

Imagine going through life, and people are sending you paragraphs about how you don’t care about them anymore or don’t have their time anymore.

I’ve seen people go through the most challenging times of their lives, and people were getting mad at them for “acting different.”

I’ve been both of these people.