More Life

Her: "Truth or Dare?"

Me: "Truth"

Her: "Have you ever talked to someone who wears a size 12 in shoes and lives in Chicago and works in real estate?"

*screams internally because what?

I am convinced that people who come to game nights come with specific questions to ask a particular person.

Oh and, my answer? Hmm, I probably lied or didn't answer the question at all. I don't even know why people even bother inviting me to game nights.

I think I'm at the point of my life where some dares are just messy; a real good dare takes a lot of thought and creativity. And at a game night after a week of work/classes, I gladly choose to lack both.

Anyways back to whatever I wanted to write about today...

Two years ago, during a game of Would You Rather, a friend asked me, "would you rather know the exact date of your death, or would you rather know your cause of death?"

I thought about the question for like 2 seconds and quickly answered, "date of death."

I remember my friends and I were cracking jokes about how we would change our lives if that date were near. Some said they would travel the world with the rest of the money in their accounts; others said they would lock themselves in a mosque or church and pray until the day came. We laughed about it for a bit, went off-topic, and ended up playing UNO. Also, playing UNO with black people has to be the most stressful things ever because who gave you the authority to make up your own rules and blame it on where you come from.

Anyways back to whatever I wanted to write about today...

Between my Beyoncé concert and Nobel Peace Prize speech in the shower, I thought about the question again the next day.

Would you rather know the exact date of your death or your cause of death?

We wake up every day not knowing if we will see tomorrow.

We have routines and plans that we look forward to, not knowing which one will take our life.

Would we be living the same if we knew exactly when we would die?

Would we still be doing things the same if we knew it might be our last time doing it?

Would we be treating people the same if we knew it's would be the last time seeing them?

But we don't know, so that's why we live like this.

The concept of life and death is so wild to me. You can be here one day and not be here the next.

You disappear and, life goes on without you. If this isn't humbling, I don't know what is.

We are constantly working towards something.

Just think about it for a second; everything society "imposes" us is to go to the next "step."

There is always a destination that makes us underestimate the present as if the arrival was guaranteed.

I'm not saying this to get us all sad and scared.

On the contrary, I want us to celebrate the little wins and the simplest of days.

Be kind to the people around you. Be kind to yourself.

When I was younger, I could only imagine people dying old. Maybe it was my parents protecting me, or I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that people could die young.

I got a bit older and saw life in black and white, right and wrong, heaven or hell. It just seemed so straightforward. I'm even a bit ashamed to say this, but I used to think that if you did everything "right," you would live a long life.

But then I got a lot older. I see life so differently now. I feel life so differently now.

Death serves as a reminder for us to live.

When someone passes away, social media is full of quotes about living life and loving hard for the next 48 hours, but then it just fades.

It slowly disappears from our timelines and, most notably, our minds.

When people talk about the deceased, they talk about their feelings and experiences shared with the person. That's what you leave behind, not the LV Bag or the number of followers on Instagram.

I remember when Kobe Bryant passed, I mean, who doesn't? I remember reading the posts, tweets and captions from people who met him and people who had only seen him through a TV screen. I'm not a basketball fan, I don't even think I've ever watched an entire basketball game a day in my life, but I was such a Kobe fan that day. I don't know how exactly, why exactly, but I was just in awe of how this man lived his life. Beyond basketball, he meant so much to so many people. He was being remembered as a kind man, a wise man, a man of honor, and so much more. May he Rest In Peace.

This was one of the most life-changing moments in my life because I asked myself such an essential and maybe even a selfish question.

What do you want to be remembered as?

I answered it and decided to live that life and mean it.

We only get one chance at this- let's not let fear or what people think about us cost us something as precious as this.

Tomorrow isn't promised.

I pray God gives us a new perspective to appreciate this gift of life.