Tomorrow

When I was younger, I would go through notebooks faster than my siblings and classmates. Something about taking notes on a fresh new page, on a new day, was so important to me. Also at that time, I didn’t pay for my supplies so maybe that helped as well. Sorry, daddy if you’re reading this. My mom was a regular at Staples and Quatre Vents because of me.

I never really understood why I did that until recently.

A new page was like a fresh start for me, a brief moment to reset.

I’m very curious about my “becoming”, so I look back for the signs… When did the becoming of Ley start?

Michelle Obama you got some competition sis.

Anyways back to my point.

That small sense of euphoria of starting something is priceless. It doesn’t last long but means the world at that moment.

I don’t think starting anything is the hardest part, it's seeing it through. It’s attempting to re-live that sense of Euphoria daily for something to work out. I say attempting because it's not always the case, honestly it’s rarely the case.

Remind yourself of the why...

Remind yourself why you want to be that person you are becoming..

Some people find vision boards corny but I think it's a great way to start. It can also be as simple as cleaning your environment, cleansing your space both mentally and socially. Sometimes the stress, the fear, and the fatigue make us forget the end goal. Some moments will make you question why you started but trust yourself… If at that moment you don’t remember why, remind yourself that the WHY was enough for you to start. Trust your vision.

I was really hesitant about sharing this because me being in a “pending” state for the past year is not something I’m proud of. And I’m not only talking about work, I feel that's all the workaholic in me talks about. But everything; My fitness and health goals, my goal for my non-profit org, and my personal projects like TheStudioByLeyla. I got a bit too comfortable with now. I lost sight of why I wanted what I wanted, because “now” felt comfortable, felt safe, felt like enough. And for a little that worked, I needed the break, to some extent I think I deserved it. But then I realized it is because what was blocking me was fear. Fear of failure. But I think doing nothing is worse than failing because you don’t learn anything from it. Well maybe not nothing, during my downtime I learned to properly apply concealer and watched most of the old crime tv shows out there :)

In every situation I think to myself what’s the worst-case scenario? Ley what’s the worst thing that can happen?

And most of the time the worst-case scenario is not that bad. Not bad enough for me not to try, for me not to embark on this journey of mine, for me not to trust that I am more than capable. I don’t like sounding like some of those corny self-help books or podcasts, please let me know when I start to.

I read this book called “The Earned Life” by Marshall Goldsmith. I picked it up at the airport while I was waiting for my delayed flight and it said “Lose Regret, Choose Fulfillment” in big on the cover. That part of the book didn’t sound too relatable, because relax I’m only like 12; what do you mean by regret? I'm sure the cashier was looking at me like “are you okay, do you want to talk?”

Let me tell you, it is one of the best books I’ve ever read. In that book, I saw the life I never wanted for myself, the stage of life I believe I’m in right now, and the life I want for myself.

I love how surprised I was with the writer's approach to the subjects of regret and fulfillment, so I don’t want to spoil it for you all. I'm also writing something about the book, which I will be sharing soon (well hopefully soon, y’all know how I be).

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I’m probably the happiest person in the world on Mondays, it's embarrassing. I romanticize the process of making my coffee, wake up 30 minutes earlier just to light a candle and write my weekly to-do list.

Let’s try not to think about what can happen in a month or two. Let’s work on the 24 hours ahead of us and do whatever we can to get closer to where we want to be and who we want to be.When you feel the need to press that reset button, please do so. Take a deep breath and open up that new page.

It’s okay to start over, it's actually more than okay. It’s human.

I feel the need to press that reset button in my mind, like once a week.

Some people work in silence to avoid sharing the “reset” moment because it seems like a failure to them. And I guess that’s okay. But let me tell you something, the fact that you pulled yourself together enough to reset again means you are succeeding.

But what do I know I’m just a girl sharing her maniere de vivre…